Mother's Day Blogging

My coping strategy for today: going to church for about 30 minutes (leaving right before four children in a row spoke about their mothers - there is no way either of us would make it through that without making a scene), visiting with my family and giving my mom a gift and lots of love, and coming home and reading infertility blogs in my pajamas.
If you didn't hear about what RESOLVE did for National Infertility Awareness Week this year, you should check it out. They invited all of us infertility bloggers to bust a myth about infertility. They received hundreds and hundreds of replies. (You can find them all here.) I have really appreciated these posts today:


Myth: "There is no infertility scoreboard" - Why do we do this? We think that we've suffered more or less than someone else because of differences in how long we've been trying to conceive (TTC), how many treatments we've endured, how many miscarriages we've had, etc. I remember really suffering after a year of TTC. Now that it's been more than 4 years, does that mean that the suffering I was going through then wasn't really that bad compared to now? No way! You really can't quantify suffering in this. No matter our experience, we're in this together and we all need to validate each other's suffering and not negate our own compared to others.

Myth: "You're a Mom, you're not infertile any more!" (also addressed in the "There is no infertility scoreboard" post above) - There were a lot of posts on this one, and it was really enlightening to me. Now that I feel like we have an answer and might be close to actually getting pregnant, I keep thinking, "This might all be over soon." Not so. I hope that after we have children, infertility will continue to be a part of my life in a positive way in that I will appreciate my children so much more and will be more compassionate to others dealing with pain and disappointment in any trial that they may be going through.

Myth: "God doesn't want us to be parents." - When something terrible like infertility happens to someone, most people look to God and ask, "Why?" If we don't get an answer, we make up our own, like this one. I have really tortured myself by thinking that God doesn't think that I'd be a good mother or I'm not a good enough person to raise children yet, etc. I like the quote from this post, "I believe that whatever our family ends up looking like, that it will be more beautiful than the plan that I would have imagined for us."

Myth: "Infertility is a private affair." - This one inspires me! Practically everyone I know is aware of our struggle with infertility. When we moved to our new home, I announced it at the pulpit in our new church. I don't hide it like I used to, and it has made all the difference. I have been able to connect with so many people around me that likely never would have told me that they were struggling with infertility, too. I have been able to raise awareness about the disease. And I have received a lot of needed support.

Myth: "Infertiles are super sad because of their disease and are super touchy about it, so you shouldn't talk to them about their infertility or babies or your own pregnancy." This goes back to my "Fragile" post. I won't burst into tears at the word, "pregnant," so please talk to me instead of acting like my infertility doesn't exist (or that I don't exist!)


And a few more myths being busted that will make you smile: click here.