From Dave

I recently heard about the idea of couples who are struggling with infertility writing letters to their future children. I thought it was a very sweet idea and shared it with Dave. He spontaneously decided to do it the other night and has given me permission to share his letter on our blog. You might want to have a tissue handy.

To: My daughter

From: Your dad, before you arrived

Daughter,

I’m writing this to let you know all the things I’m looking forward to.

I’m looking forward to holding you as a baby, with you all wrapped up in a cute blanket somebody will undoubtedly make for you. I’m looking forward to singing to you because as a baby, you don’t care if the singing isn’t very good; you’ll love it and it will help you sleep. I’m looking forward to getting you silly intelli-toys, convinced that they will somehow affect your future performance on college entrance exams. I’m looking forward to the times when it’s “my turn” or when your mother’s absolutely exhausted, and I get to rock you in my arms until you go back to sleep.

I’m looking forward to telling you stories and jokes as a toddler. I’m looking forward to making you giggle and then progressing to making you laugh. I’m looking forward to you trying to tell me jokes and the punch lines not making very much sense. I’m looking forward to genuinely laughing anyway, enjoying your pure desire to make others happy. I’m looking forward to painting your room for your birthday even though I don’t like painting. I’m looking forward to coming home from work and having you run into my arms to give me a gigantic hug and a kiss on the cheek. I’m looking forward to hearing you humming while you color a picture, and recognizing that you’re humming the lullabies I used to sing to you. I’m looking forward to putting a bandage on a scraped elbow and wiping away your tears.

I’m looking forward to playing games with you as a kid. I’m looking forward to letting you win sometimes and pretending like I didn’t. I’m looking forward to taking you to fun exhibits where you can participate in mini-science experiments. I’m looking forward to overreacting when you fall off your bike and taking you to the emergency room when you don’t even need stitches. I’m looking forward to watching you on a soccer team. I’m looking forward to driving you to practice, and glancing over at you in your little uniform. I’m looking forward to you using that same uniform as a Halloween costume because you changed your mind seventeen times about what you want to be that year and we decided on the easiest thing at the last minute. I’m looking forward to lying on the grass with you and watching the clouds stroll along, picking out shapes and characters only we can see.

I’m looking forward to you telling me how much you hate homework as a young teenager. I’m looking forward to secretly knowing that you haven’t even discovered the meaning of the word “homework” yet. I’m looking forward to you starting to like boys and getting flustered and embarrassed when I ask you about them. I’m looking forward to reading books with you and not even trying to hide how much I enjoy the same books. I’m looking forward to roasting marshmallows with you when we’re camping, both at official campsites and in our backyard. I’m looking forward to painting your room—again—even though my feelings toward painting won’t have changed.

I’m looking forward to worrying about you as a teenager. I’m looking forward to grilling the guys who come to take you on dates and not really approving of any of them. I’m looking forward to being awake when you come home from those dates, and eating ice cream with you while you tell me about how they went. I’m looking forward to starting a food fight with you in the kitchen, spontaneously, and not realizing that you’ll get me ten times worse than I got you in the first place. I’m looking forward to coming to dance competition and missing the whole outcome of the event because I was too busy being proud of my “little” girl.

I’m looking forward to all the things we haven’t thought of yet. I’m looking forward to the great times so we can rejoice together. I’m even looking forward to the sad times so I can hold you while you weep and reassure you that even the hardest of trials will pass, opening the door to a bright and joyous future.

I’m looking forward to you.

Hope to (all of the above) really soon.

Love,

Dad