Why?

The other day I was telling a friend about my infertility and she started saying things like, "Well, maybe it's because..." and trying to come up with reasons why I'm struggling with infertility. I cut her off right there. I explained to her one of the most important lessons I have learned from this trial which is that you absolutely CANNOT ask "why?" When you start asking "why," you make up your own answers and they are never right and they are rarely, if ever, kind. My answers over the years have been things like, "You aren't as kind/organized/spiritual/fun/whatever as _________ [insert name of friend/family member who has a baby here]." "You need to get over your depression first." "You aren't ready." "You aren't going to be a good mom." "You have to do _____ to deserve it first." It also doesn't work to comfort someone by telling them why you think that they're going through that trial. That's probably one of the worst things that you can do when trying to comfort someone because again, your answers are never right and rarely, if ever, kind. Take note. :)
I have learned to force myself to not ask "why?" Sometimes it tortures me to not understand why this is happening to us, but it is much less painful than believing the answers that I have made up over the years. Here's a wonderful quote that has helped me with that: "Do not ever doubt the goodness of God, even if you do not know 'why.' They are questions that usually go begging in mortality. Mortality was designed, in a manner of speaking, as the season of unanswered questions. I believe that mortality's supreme test is to face the 'why' and then let it go, trusting humbly in the Lord's promise that 'all things must come to pass in their time.'" - Elder Lance B. Wickman