Church

Church is one of the best and worst places to be when you're living with infertility. Many, many people who are struggling with infertility stop attending church. Why? There are babies and happy families everywhere you turn. The messages from the pulpit and in classes are focused on family and parenting. People ask questions about your childlessness. They sometimes make insensitive comments. Sometimes you feel guilty because you feel like you don't have enough faith for a miracle to happen in your life - look at Sarah, Hannah, and Rachel! You look at the pews full of families around you and feel like you don't fit in. Some of the worst breakdowns that Dave and I have had about infertility have been at church. They were embarrassing.
But church can also be the best place to be when you're living with infertility. When Dave and I had those breakdowns at church, we felt an incredible outpouring of love from the other church members. People we didn't know very well embraced us. They told us that they were praying for us. They gave us advice about doctors and treatments to try (how we originally found out about Dr. Stanford!) They invited us to their homes and shared their stories of infertility and the happy endings with us. They put our names on the prayer roll at the temple. They helped us feel support, love, and unity that we could never have expected! Our feelings of not fitting in went away. We felt that these church members were our extended family who loved us and prayed us.
For two years, Dave and I served in the nursery, caring for toddlers while their parents attended other classes. I felt like a mom while I was there. My yearning to hold and connect with and teach a child was met, albeit temporarily, through that service. Those moments were regularly the highlight of my week!
And, most importantly, I have come closer to my Savior by continuing to attend church. I have learned more about Him and what He went through for me. I have had many, many spiritual experiences at church that have strengthened my faith. I have received comfort from the Lord when I needed it. When I am sometimes in the midst of a deep depression and have to drag myself to church, I leave church feeling buoyed up by the Spirit and my feelings of depression disappear. Being in His home with other Christians can be a great strength to anyone dealing with infertility.