Relationships

Infertility can tear a couple apart. It causes a lot of strain on a relationship, and some couples break up over it. Women (and men) often worry if their spouse will leave them for someone who's fertile. Couples are often at different places in their infertility journey - one person might be ready for adoption and the other hasn't closed the door on having their own child just yet. This leads to a lot of passionate, seemingly endless arguments. Infertility also invariably affects sexual relationships, causing more strain on an already fragile relationship. One person might accuse the other person of causing the problem - being overweight or not seeing a doctor soon enough, etc. The financial strain can be huge (especially when undertaking in vitro, the mother of all fertility treatments, costing up to $25,000!) One person might fall into a deep depression and the other doesn't know how to react or be supportive. The list can go on and on.
What's remarkable to me is how this has not happened with me and Dave. We have never had an argument about infertility. He has basically supported me in whatever decisions about doctors and treatments I felt we should pursue. He never accused me of it being my fault. He weeps right along with me. He accompanied me to my first scary fertility tests and held my hand through them. He doesn't complain when I stay out late with my support group friends or when I spend hours reading or blogging about infertility online. He doesn't get sick of me crying all of the time. We are one of the fortunate couples that has been brought closer together through this trial. As I try to count my blessings, he is at the top of my list!