An Answer

For the past 4 1/2 years, our infertility has been unexplained. It has been difficult to deal with not knowing what was wrong or how to treat it. We have tried all kinds of various (often ridiculous) treatments because we didn't know what else to do. Now I think that we finally have an answer. In my appointment with Dr. Stanford on Thursday he diagnosed me with a very mild case of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. My case is so mild that the other doctors I've seen never found it. He has me on some new medication (Metformin, for diabetics - don't even ask me why a medication used to treat diabetes is going to help me have a baby, I don't get it either) and so we'll see what happens! The good news is that one of my friends who told me about Dr. Stanford and who raved to me about him had the exact same diagnosis. She now has a beautiful baby boy. So, my hopes are high.
Well, higher. When dealing with infertility, we get our hopes up every month and then are devastated every month. We try to build up an immunity to hope because a person just can't live through that month after month, year after year. In an effort to protect ourselves from regular emotional meltdowns, we train ourselves to quash that hope. Usually it works, which is why we keep doing it. But then we develop the habit of immediately quashing hope before it has a chance to grow in us and work its positive effects. Hope is essential in this journey, otherwise why keep trying? It's a difficult balance between protecting ourselves from complete emotional breakdowns and finding the strength to continue. I don't know where I am in that balance right now, but I think I'm still a bit on the less-hopeful side. Maybe Metformin will prove me wrong! I hope so!