Trauma

As I was getting ready to go to my little sister's baby shower this week, I started crying. Then I started sobbing - hard. The girls were there and they were hanging on me, trying to comfort me. Dave tried to get them to leave me alone, but he couldn't pry them away from me. As I sat there, sobbing, with my two sweet little girls hanging on me, I wondered why I was crying. I had told God long ago that if He let me keep these girls, I wouldn't care at all about getting pregnant. I have two absolutely wonderful girls and I am satisfied. As I have worked with B through her trauma I have been more able to recognize it in myself. Baby showers used to be awful for me. Unfortunately, baby showers are still awful for me because all of the pain I experienced throughout my infertility comes rushing back to me. I hadn't realized that infertility can be traumatizing like that.