Insanity

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

It has been over 4 years that we have been trying to have a baby. That is over 50 months. That means that we have tried something over 50 times and failed every time. That feels like insanity. Granted, we have been trying all kinds of different ways of doing that same thing, with drugs, fertility treatments, home remedies, all kinds old wives' tales, but still with the same result. No pregnancy. But, I still get my hopes up every month. I wonder if this will be the month.  I have to literally force myself not to get my hopes up each month any more, because I know that we haven't done anything differently this month and that teeny, tiny feeling of nausea that I had this morning is probably not morning sickness but just being hungry. But forcing myself not to hope just to preserve my emotions one month feels like insanity, too.